Dieting in Candyland

It is Day 4. Dieting still sucks.

Even if I were to sit at home alone, with no outside influences, dieting would be difficult. But the last few days, cruel forces have been conspiring to make me cheat. I have not yet knowingly cheated on my diet, but the pressure. Oh the pressure.

Take the beginning of Day 2. I had just finished my scrambled eggs as I sat down at our conference table for our morning meeting. And 2 boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts were placed in front of me. Glazed. Sprinkles. Creme-filled. The smell of sugar was so strong I was afraid I might be cheating on my diet just being so near the sweets.

I perservered, but was tested again on Day 3. I spent all day at a scene, and the Red Cross was kind enough to bring over some food, but unfortunately the food wasn't allowed on my diet. At lunchtime, I asked one co-worker to stay on scene while I drove down the road to get a salad. Being polite, I asked her if I could get her anything. "An ice cream cone!" Okay.

I psyched myself up. Yes, the ice cream will be in the car, but just ignore it. Yes, it's 90-something degrees, but you don't want the ice cream. What I hadn't considered, was how I would get the ice cream cone back to my co-worker. I had to drive all the way back to the scene not just with the ice cream in the car, but with the ice cream cone in my hand. Dripping. Instinct tells me when ice cream is dripping, I should lick it. Several times I nearly had the ice cream in my mouth before I remembered I could not have it. Cruel.

Today was a co-worker's last day. For some reason, I volunteered to get the cake. Idiot. Then I also agreed to pick up 3 donut-flavored frozen treats from Krispy Kreme for use in one of the shows. It took the workers a long time to figure out how to use the machine. Meanwhle, I kept staring at the caramel crunch donuts and imagining how they might melt in my mouth. Just beyond the glass, I could also see the conveyer belt of newly born donuts being glazed in the back room.

And yet, I did not give in. I'm barely hanging on to this diet thing by the thinnest of shreds, but I'm hanging on. We'll see what Day 5 brings.