I wanted to see Slumdog Millionaire because I’d heard so many good things about it. And I totally get it. I really do. It’s a compelling, interesting, edge-of-your-seat movie which is beautifully written, shot, and edited.

But I hated it.

I couldn’t focus on the plot because I just found the child beggar scenes too disturbing. I feel kind of silly to have been so upset by it – I had certainly heard before about children being intentionally harmed to make them more compelling as beggars. But actually watching it unfold on the screen made it more tangible and more raw. Yes, I knew I was watching fiction. But I also knew the underlying tragedy was real.

I should have known better than to go see this movie. I used to love Law and Order: SVU before Camille was born. But now, I just can’t bear to watch the story lines, which so often revolve around children who’ve been harmed. I don’t even like the movie Finding Nemo, because the poor fish’s mom is killed in the opening sequence, and the rest of the movie is a desperate race for father and son to find each other again.

But the scenes depicted in this movie were so much worse, so much more heartbreaking. And what I also find heartbreaking is a feeling that I can’t do anything to fix it. I’ve done a little online searching for an organization I can support. For something I can do, even if it’s small. But I know it won’t be enough to give me peace after what I saw on the screen tonight.